This isn't aimed at anyone in particular ... it's just a piece of writing I found on the web (on a blog called "Tomato Nation" here) and liked. It's one of those "I wish I'd said that" pieces. Here is a slightly shortened version....
Playtime's over.
If you have reached the age of 25, I have a bit of bad news for you: it is time, if you have not already done so, for you to emerge from your cocoon of post-adolescent self-absorption and join the rest of us in the world. Certain actions, attitudes, and behaviours will no longer do. Continuing to insist that good manners, thoughtfulness and grooming oppress you in some way is inappropriate and irritating. Grow up.
I do not mean that you must read up on mortgage rates or desist from substituting "pants" for crucial words of movie titles. Silliness is not only still permitted but actively encouraged. You must, however, stop viewing carelessness, tardiness, and helplessness as either charming or somehow beyond your control. A grace period for the development of basic consideration and self-sufficiency is assumed, but the grace period is over, and starring in a film in your head in which you walk the earth alone is no longer a valid lifestyle choice.
1. Remember to write thank-you notes. An email is not sufficient thanks for a physical gift. Purchase stationery and stamps and express your gratitude in writing. Failure to do so implies that you don't care.
2. Do not invite yourself to stay with friends. Presumably you have a job, and the means to procure yourself a hotel. If not, stay home. Mentioning that you plan a visit to another city may lead to an invitation to stay with a friend or family member, which you may of course accept; assuming that "it's cool if you crash" is not.
3. Do not expect friends to help you move house. Your friends have jobs to go to, and you have accumulated a lot of heavy books by this point in your life. Hire a mover. If you cannot afford a mover, sell your books or put them in storage -- or don't move.
4. Develop a physical awareness of your surroundings. As children, we live in our own heads, bumping into things and emitting random squawks because we don't know how to talk yet. Adults must sense others and get out of their way. Walk single file. Don't blather loudly in public spaces. Give up your seat and hold doors for those with disabilities or who are struggling with small children. Take your headphones off while interacting with clerks and passersby. Do not walk along and then stop suddenly.
5. Be on time. The occasional public-transit snafu is forgivable, but consistent lateness is self-centred. If we didn't care when you showed up, we'd have said "any old time". Do not ditz that you "lost track of time" as though time somehow slipped its leash and ran into traffic. It shows a basic lack of respect for others; flakiness is not cute anymore.
6. Have enough money. I do not mean "give up your scholarly dreams and join the world of corporate finance in order to keep up with the Joneses." I mean that you should not become that girl or boy who is always a few dollars short, can only cover exactly his or her meal but no tip, or "forgot" to go to the ATM.
7. Know how to calculate the tip. You did not have to major in math to know how this works. You are not dumb, but your "maths-is-so-hard" flailing is agonizing and has outstayed its welcome.
8. Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional. Nobody cares.
9. Learn to walk in heels. Gentlemen, you are at your leisure. Ladies: If you wear heels, know how to operate them. Clomping along and placing your foot down flat with each step gives the appearance of a ten-year-old playing dress-up.
10. Have at least one good dress-up outfit. A dress code, or suggested attire on an invitation, is not an instrument of The Man. You don't have to like it, but if the invitation requests it, put it on.
11. Do as invitations ask you. Don't bring a guest when no such courtesy is extended. Don't ignore an RSVP; it means "please respond," and you should.
12. Know how. Know how to drive. Know how to read a map. Know how to get around. Know how to change a tire, or whom to call if you can't manage it, or how to get to a phone if you don't have a cell phone. We will happily bail you out, until it becomes apparent that it's what you always need. There are no grounds for purposeful helplessness.
13. Don't use your friends. If the only reason you continue to associate with a person is to borrow his or her car, might I remind you that you have now turned 25 and may rent your own.
14. Have something to talk about besides college or your job. College is over. Participate in the world. Working is not living. Be interested so that you can be interesting.
15. Give and receive favours graciously. If you cannot do it, say so.
16. Drinking until you throw up is no longer a point of pride. It happens to the best of us, but be properly ashamed the next day; work on your tolerance, or eat something first, but amateur hour ended several years hence.
17. Have a real trash receptacle, real hankies or tissues, and, if you smoke, a real ashtray. No loose bags on the floor; no using a roll of toilet paper; no plates or empty soda cans. You are not a fierce warrior of the Fratty Bubelatty tribe.
18. Universal quiet hours apply to you. Bass practice should conclude, not start, at ten PM. Understand also that just because nobody has complained directly to you does not mean that a complaint is not justified, or pending. Further, get your speakers off the floor. Yes, a rug is still "the floor."
19. Take care of yourself. If you are sick, visit a doctor. If you are sad talk to a friend. If you are unhappy in love, break up. If you are fed up with how you look, buy a new shirt or stop eating cheese. Bored? Read a magazine. Mad at someone? Say so -- to them. If you have a problem, try to fix it. Many problems are knotty and need a lot of talking through, or time to resolve, but after a few months of all complaining and no fixing, those around you will begin to wonder if you don't enjoy the problems for the attention they bring you. Venting is fine; inertia coupled with pouting is not. Change is hard; that's too bad.
20. Rudeness is not a signifier of your importance. We all have bad days; yours is not weightier than anyone else's, and does not excuse rudeness. Be civil or be elsewhere.
I winced at the "bass practice" remark.
As I say, it's not aimed at you -- if I'm aiming this at anyone, it's at myself.
I'd only add, in my own words: You may have been told by authority figures when you were a child, to brush your teeth, wear clean clothes, eat fruit, be on time, act sensible, and so on. It does not follow that, now you are an adult, you can adequately fight opression in the world, simply by not brushing your teeth, living on junk food, and turning up late to things. This will not strike a blow for human freedom. If you find yourself always doing such things, ask yourself whether it's an unconscious remnant of rebellion that isn't actually working any more.
